The Pictograph Trail is yet another Thornburg Family staple, as it is a gentle upslope walk with the ever kid-popular pictographs. I always felt like Indiana Jones on this hike, trudging my way on a long, dangerous hike to find a puzzling inscription left by an ancient race to find their hidden treasure. Why must imagination ebb as we age?
Anyways, about half way through the hike, we spotted another Yoni high off the trail. It’s amazing how much more you evidence of Indian habitation you find when you take the time to look! Before long, we were in front of a huge boulder that held yellow and red pictographs. Analee and I spent a while trying to interpret the pictures with no avail until Analee blurted out “It looks like directions!” Amazingly, I think she is right. There was a sun, mountains, what looked like a river or water, etc. The pictograph appeared to show their migratory route. We were probably 100% wrong, but wouldn’t it be neat if we weren’t.
Another Yoni off the Pictograph Trail
After the standard “take a picture of me in front of the pictograph” pictures, we ventured further down the trail, as recommended by our numerous books. As a child, we always stopped at the pictograph and never ventured further. If only we’d gone on…Past the pictograph, we found several large village sites at the edge of the valley floor. There was evidence of long lost civilization, and more recent signs, such as an id tag with the national anthem on the front, like the one I used to wear in elementary school. What an odd trinket to find, however, I left it there for someone else to discover.
Indi-Ana Jones and the Mysterious Pictographs
As this valley comes to a close, it opens up into Smuggler’s Canyon. From this vantage point, you can see the entire
At the Head of Smuggler's Canyon (I Love this Picture!)
Next, we traveled to
Smuggler's Canyon
Approaching the village, I could hear the incessant bleating of pubescent tweens. Don’t get me wrong, I love children, but not when they interfere with our vacation. Of course, all of the kids were hanging around the good spots, and were in and out of all the caves and rock shelters. At one point, I remember their “teacher” (looked like a reject from the Hell’s Angels) telling the kids to come down the mountain. I watched as three kids tried to climb down the front of a 25-foot boulder with no handholds. Luckily, their teacher was watching too, and guided them around the drop off. Was I ever that stupid when in the desert? Yes.
Indiana Dork Looking for Artifacts
Anyways, while the kids were ruining all the rock shelter exploration, Analee and I began looking for pottery shards. Once we trained our eyes, they were everywhere. We found pieces from the size of a stamp up to a post-it note. If it wasn’t for those kids, I never would have taken the time to inspect the ground. After finding tons of shards and fleck pieces of stone (discards from arrowheads, etc.) we made our way back to the car. Now it was decision time. It was early afternoon, and there was still one hike left that I wanted to do. The choice was: (A) hike two miles up a mountain and into a valley to look for Indian sites or (B) sit in a hot pool. Guess which one we chose
Our Sanctuary
We had four hours now to soak in the pool, and relax. It was time for our vacation from vacation. Now let me tell you about all the characters we met in the pool while on the trip. These will be in no particular order:
James Cameron’s Cousin – One night, we were accosted by an annoying man who claimed to be James Cameron’s cousin. I tried to feign ignorance as to who James Cameron was until he said that he directed the Titanic…I hated that movie. Anyways, he blathered on and on about how he was writing a movie about the Civil War (that’s never been done before, duh!). He continued to try and convince me that the Civil War was a conspiracy set in action by European Governments. Good luck on that movie mister!
V-Suit Lady – As previously mentioned, the lady with the new “assets” and with the horrific teeth. Analee was severely disturbed by her lack of oral hygiene. Should have spent the boob-money on dentures!
The Four Hippies – While the snowstorm roiled on, 4 college students showed up one night. Nothing too much to note here, except for that they didn’t shower getting into the pool…eww, and that they burned incense in the locker room. You are fooling no one dudes.
Back Scab Man – The name says it all. Thank God for chlorine.
Ms. See Through Pants – I was almost horrified to the point of celibacy when I saw a elderly lady wearing see-through shorts take a shower in front of everyone thus showing her “pelt” to everyone.
Jerry Garcia – This gentleman enjoyed the above mentioned shower enough to lick his lips while it was going on…I think I’m going to be sick remembering this stuff.
A Nice but Slightly Amnesia Ridden Lady – Exactly as it sounds. She was always pleasant and talked to us each night. Of course, she talked to us about the same thing every night!
Ranger Dick – This was the power-hungry ranger who exerted his authority on us all by announcing to the pool goers “Since I’m in a good mood, I won’t write tickets to those of you who parked illegally outside the pool.” Ranger Dick indeed.
The Commies – One night had three Russian Jews and two Chinese. I couldn’t tell you what they were talking about.
The Fat Healers – As described, a bunch of obese women performing healing on other obese women by placing their hands near a person, not on a person, and then chanting…OHHHHMMMMM.
The Pre-Teen Starers – Two 10-year-old girls who constantly stared at me whenever I was in the common locker room, shower, bathroom, etc.
The Cannonballer – My favorite person. One day, I wanted to rinse my feet off at the pool to prevent getting sand in my shoes. I was already dressed and at the pool edge, when some man came running out of nowhere and did a cannonball right in front of me, soaking me to the bone. I tried to say something to him, and he just laughed, began talking to himself and swam away.
What Dorks do in the Dark
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